The Do's of Delivery
Listen up! If you want your food FRESH and HOT then these laws must be obeyed. Act appropriately and forever be in our good graces. This usually results in faster and friendlier service.
- Do ask for the total before hanging up (and have the money ready).
- Do leave the light on outside your front door.
- Do let us know if your door bell doesn't work!
- Do pick up the phone when we call because you didn't tell us your bell doesn't work.
- Do come outside to greet us with the money promptly. We do have other orders to deliver too, you dumb motherfuckers. I hate you bastards who are on the phone and take forever to come down...thinking its just you that we need to deliver to..fuck you! (Don't call again).
- Most importantly, do give us a tip. Its a service and we don't have to bring food to your lazy ass.
- Do be generous with tips. A delivery charge is NOT a tip. Write that down...a delivery charge is NOT a tip you moron! We tend to remember those who treat us well, and those who don't so becareful.
- Do let the restaurant know BEFOREHAND if you plan on using a credit card. Some people think I've got a modem on me and some how I'm hooked up to the credit card company and that I have a credit card slider...WTF!! F'ing n00bs!
- Do restrain your pets. We may like pets, but we do not like doggie drool. And the barking....ugh!
- During winter, do shovel and salt a path to your door.
posted by John at 8:26 PM
2 Comments:
I ask the total, I tip, and I open the door promptly when my functioning, well-lit doorbell is rung. I have worked customer service many years, and I think you need to get yourself a different job, because you are not suited for this one. Maybe you should get hired at the DMV or phone company.
Brainhell,
Being a delivery guy is what I do one day per week only, I also have a normal mon - fri job doing Internet support. Unfortunately, I simply cannot get out from being a delivery guy <=(.
Brainhell, how much do you tip? 15%, 20%, 25%....?? How generous are you?
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