Want faster delivery?

Alright folks. I'm going to reveal the secret to faster delivery. Theres a secret to losing weight, a secret to a killer chili recipe, and ways to secretely live a second life. However, no one has ever revealed the secrets to getting faster delivery.

If your delivery guy takes a full 30 or 45 minutes to make a delivery, that means you're not in his good graces. Something that you have done, or someone else has done in your building has ticked him (or her) off. Believe it or not, if someone in your building tips horribly, or treats them bad, the delivery guy will generalize and assume the entire community is like that. One for all and all for one...err...whatever.

I will now list the things you can do to improve delivery times. If you try all of these and they don't work for you...then you just suck.

• Be prepared with the money. Find out how much it costs before the delivery guy arrives and have the money ready, don't ask for change.
• Make sure your front light is on and that your doorbell works.
• Do not ask the driver to use the backdoor or basement.
• Promptly answer the door...come downstairs...meet him at the door. Do this step and your next delivery is automatically 5 minutes quicker...really.
• Just to leave on a positive note, seem happy and appreciative for the delivery and show it by leaving a decent tip.

Do the above and delivery times should improve by at least 10 minutes...guaranteed. If it doesn't work, then send me a email so I can respond with "Get a life!".

This past sunday was busy because of the oscars. I go to this house and ring the bell (thank god it worked and the lady came downstairs....feeling good so far). She greets me and asks how much (uh oh!)...I said blah blah blah and blah blah cents. Bitch says okay and goes upstairs to get money (Grrr!). Minutes later, she comes down and gives me the money, as if I had all day to wait for the lazy bitch. So what did I do? I left the door open. I held the door open so all her heat could get out and the coldness could go in...just to give her a taste of what its like waiting for that bitch to count a few bucks. Perfect way to add 10 minutes to your delivery time next time!