Things that make you say WTF!?

Been reading tipthepizzaguy.com stories lately. I can totally relate. A common occurance with other delivery drivers is that they see the weirdest things. This prompts me to list all the crazy shit I've seen or experienced over the past 10 years:

- A secret porn star. She must've been one. Always takes 5 minutes to get downstairs to the door. No lights are EVER on. Always comes down in a silk robe with nothing underneath. Yeah, she's into Internet porn or something.

- A real porn star. Well, just a stripper. Delivered to a hispanic bar in the dirty section of town. Saw some middle aged women nude on stage.

- Drunks. Lots of them. At least they tip well!

- Punks. Lots of them too. One of my first deliveries when I began doing this 10 years ago was to this apartment. I walked up the stairs, saw a bunch of open beer cans on the coffee table, and these kids sitting around, smoking and having a good time. In the other room, I could hear one of their buddies having an even better time with what sounded like a young girl. (yes, you can tell she was young by the sound...really!). It was definitely not the tv I heard. They asked if I wanted to come in and have some fun too. I declined.

- Some retard at a used car lot. He was showing some customer a used acura integra. It was a stick shift and the salesman was showing off the automatic car starter. Many people don't put car starters in stick shifts cause bad things can happen if you're not careful. Anyways, the car was parked in his lot, near the sidewalk. The idiot pressed the button with out checking the car to see if it was in gear....the integra ended up on the other side of the street. Sucker!

- 2 huge freaking dogs. They were more like the size of baby bears. Didn't think they made dogs that big. Anyways, the owner feeds them chinese food. Great.

- Being bit by a dog. F'ing dog wouldn't shut up. Ever since I hit that door bell he wanted a piece of me. The owner held the bitch back, but it eventually got loose and took a small nibble. No big deal...should've done a Kerpal and kicked the little bastard.

- Young woman half nude. She was expecting her boyfriend to show up first so she was half nude. Sometimes being early really does have its benefits.

- Delivering to porn shops. Got lots of dirty dollar bills from them. Yuck.