Solar-powered address lights

Every home should have one. Nothing annoys a delivery driver more than when he can't spot your house number during a delivery. Then at night, you guys don't have a light on for us to see anything. Make your local delivery guys happy by picking up one of these babies at smarthome.com.

Don't be cheap, don't even think. Just do it. If you must refrain from making this purchase, then please go to Home Depot and buy some house numbers and put it somewhere thats easily visible. Don't forget to turn the lights on at night when you're expecting a delivery.

A decade of service

Almost there. Ten years have past and I finally see the finish line ahead. Soon, I will no longer be delivering chinese food. People can no longer say "Its the Chinese", "Its the chinese food", "The chinese food delivery guy", "The guy from China is here".....blah blah blah. Everytime I hear these phrases I get fantasies of Grand Theft Auto. If I could do everything I could do in the video game to these people...

I get a tingle every time I think of going off on these mofo's GTA style for giving me grief or not leaving a proper tip:


Speaking of video games...the industry has really evolved over the past 10 years. They've got games covering almost everything imaginable (Playboy, 50 cent, Legos, etc). I say almost because there has yet to be a game dedicated to the delivery guy. (Paperboy doesn't cut it).

Alright, so who do I send this great idea to? its bound to make lots of $$$. Every delivery dude or dudette from Dominos, Pizza hut, Papa John's, Chinese food delivery men around the world.....we'd all get this game to live out our fantasies.


I know you can't see the comic...go here to see it:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2005/20050119l.jpg

Alright...its starting to annoy me. What makes these people think I have a credit card machine attached to my hip? Its been raining all day, and I'm soaking wet. Its just before 7PM, and everybody wants dinner around this time. I didn't let the weather or the wet jeans affect me. I cheerfully said "HI!" and asked for money. A second later I see this young lady holding a credit card. Red flags are rushing through my mind at this point and disappointment is upon me. I asked if she requested to have this order charged to her credit card. She says "No, but I asked the lady and she said I could use my credit card for deliveries if I wanted to." I explained to her in the nicest way possible without words that we don't do credit cards unless you specifically say you want to use it. I gave her the simplest "WTF! does it look like I have a machine attached to my body with a wire hooked up to the telephone poles?!". A few more "WTF" looks later and several "I can't believe you think I can do this" hand gestures later and she got the point. She says she doesn't have any money. It was $19.20. She then says again she doesn't have any money and goes off inside just to come back quickly with a $20 bill and apologizes for not giving me a tip. Pshhhhhhh! Whatever. Either she was extremely stupid or she just went through a stupid act to avoid tipping me in the pouring rain.

At least the other people that didn't tip me were up front about it and said something like "This is all I've got for the rest of the week". Its all BS. But its all good...I won't be the chinese delivery guy much longer.

Don't go here unless you wanna get jipped out of a tip: